Business and Thought Leader Edition
Do you want to be successful?
We spend the first quarter of our lives as human beings, developing, preparing, and trying to become ready to be successful human beings. And yet the reality is so many of us, 10 years into the workforce, 20, 30 years into our career, we start wondering, did we make the right actions and decisions and lived up to those childhood expectations?
Each and everyone has a different definition of success, whether it be on their personal or professional lives. A standard baseline is money, career & power. If that is the category you focus on to evaluate someone’s success, then roughly less than 1% of the world’s population achieves this to the greatest or highest levels possible.
But if you don’t agree with this standard baseline, then it is possible to achieve success. And that is through mindset.
This week’s guest is Simon Parsons, a badass activation coach who is passionate about intentional mindset work that can massively increase performance in the professional setting. From meditation, visualization, mindset tools, and hacks can make work incredibly more fulfilling, productive and increase results.
Join us as Simon shares how he defines success, the advantages of having a growth mindset, and how to make failures your best teacher. With hosts, wealth manager Lee Michael Murphy, career advisor Sergio Patterson, and attorney Matthew McElroy tune in to this week’s episode of The Free Retiree Show.
What You’ll Learn:
- How to use your failures to succeed
- How to change one’s mindset to make people more successful
- The difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset
- Using LinkedIn to influence people
To get the episode, show notes, and share links, please go to our podcast page below. Thank you for sharing our podcast.
[00:00:00] Lee Michael Murphy: [00:00:00] Ladies and gentlemen, congratulations on making a wonderful life decision and tuning into your pals from the free retiree show, your favorite podcasts, all things, career money, and where we learn from people that have done amazing things. I’m your host wealth manager, Lee Michael Murphy, and I’m alongside silicone valley vet and interview coach Sergio Patterson.
What is up everyone and silicone Valley’s favorite attorney Matthew McElroy. What’s going on for today’s episode, we’re going to be discussing, what does it take to become successful? What separates those that are achieving high levels of success and satisfaction from those that are maybe underperforming or feeling underwhelmed in their professional and personal lives?
What things are keeping , uh, separated from joining that elite pack that have achieved the levels that we aspire. We spend the first quarter of our lives as human beings, [00:01:00] developing, preparing, and trying to become ready to be successful human beings. And yet the reality is so many of us, 10 years into the workforce, 20, 30 years into our career, we start wondering, did we make the right actions and decisions and lived up to those childhood expectations?
So Serg, Mattie,. No, the subject of success, what does that mean to you? And who do you look up to when it comes to someone that’s successful?
Sergio Patterson: [00:01:36] It’s a tough one. You’re supposed to give it these questions ahead of time. Late
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:01:40] on the fly boys on the fly.
Sergio Patterson: [00:01:41] Um, no, this is good. I think success. I
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:01:43] like, you know, everyone knows, I’ve been said
Sergio Patterson: [00:01:44] Silicon valley for a long time now.
And I think we’re all under the microscope and scrutiny of performance reviews and defining success. For me, I never let my work define like Barbara do at work is how I do at work. It’s it is what it is. But [00:02:00] I think if I can come home and be a successful bad husband, and that’s, that’s more important to me, like from a life standpoint, but also I think it is important to figure out how to navigate your career and get through the ranks because it’s, I see a lot of people rising, you know, in Silicon valley and they’re, they’re doing something right.
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:02:16] Awesome Mattie.
Matt McElroy: [00:02:19] You know, when I first started my professional career, I probably would have told you like, oh, it’s the amount of money you make. Right. And, you know, as, as I’ve gone through and, and advanced in my career and go on it’s, you know, it’s, it’s not about the money you make, but it, I think it is about financial indifference.
You know what I mean? Because of the financial independence leads to things like time with your family quality time and, you know, quality of life. So, um, yeah, I think those are all kinds of aspects, but I think financial independence is probably a good measure. Some people might disagree with that though.
Simon Parsons: [00:02:45] Yeah.
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:02:46] I think, you know, um, uh, like I can say that your, your thoughts are similar to mine. Like coming out of school beginning of my career. I think we all think like what we w we make. And I think that is somewhat important, but , um, As I’ve grown older. I feel like my shift, [00:03:00] my mindset has shifted and I started measuring success, not just by the monetary things, but you know how much you can help people.
And I think that goes to the professional side and your personal side. Uh, I really do think like, you know, measuring success for me is going to be. A tale of, you know, how many people I was able to help. And I’ve changed that , um, mindset through a great mentor of mine. As you guys know, Carl, I think that’s how he lived his life all the time is like, you know, helping people.
And I got to see glimpse of that and that helped me out. But you know, everyone’s got a different , uh, idea of what it means. So for today’s recording, we got Simon on Simon Parsons and he’s an amazing. Expert on this. So he , uh, so this is his accomplishments as of right now. So seven out of seven years, he’s been the president club qualifier for a forest 100 sales organization.
He is working towards trying to get 10 of 10, but he’s a boss, obviously in the sales arena, his company doing 1 million per year in revenue, close to. From his coaching business. And he’s hoping to get 1 million of revenue per year by [00:04:00] November, 2022. Um, and what he specializes in is all about mindset. How can we change our mindset to make us more successful?
So this is going to be a wonderful one. We’re going to go to a quick break, but before we do so make sure you smash that like button , uh, share us with your friends. We appreciate. And , uh, yeah, reach out to us. If you have any questions, financial related career related, legal related, or even a question for Simon, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org.
We’re going to take a quick break, but when we’re back, when we sit down with Simon, Paul.
Welcome back into the free Retiree show. We’re sitting down with Simon Parsons, Simon, how are you doing this morning?
I’m doing so
Simon Parsons: [00:04:36] good. Lee. Good to see you, Sergio man, I am so honored to be here. Let’s bring some energy to your guests. Let’s uh, teach them a little bit more about success, success mindset, and let me know what questions you have.
I want to serve your audience on the highest.
Sergio Patterson: [00:04:49] Well, that’s the energy right there.
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:04:52] It’s I mean, we are pumped to have you, we’ve seen you online and it’s just an honor to have you on our show, but you know, you’re the man, you’re the man, you know, the [00:05:00] first rap pre-retirees shot. I mean, if you knew the backstories of Sergio, Matt and myself, who, I mean, we’re not the ones to ask.
We got to ask you, man. So what is it? That gives people, you know, that sense or the ability to become successful in your mind from all the work you’ve done.
Simon Parsons: [00:05:15] Oh, I appreciate your asking. So I would start with this question and I get this. I actually have people ask me this a lot and this is why I want to bring it up, but how do you define success?
So, um, Matt brought this up, right? Uh, that he defines it , um, with , uh, having , um, enough income having , um, what, how did you phrase it back to his , uh, Financial monies. Great way to look at it. And both Sergio Matt, you talked about in your earlier years, you might’ve defined that as a certain amount of money, right.
Or financial success we all did. Yeah. And I think that’s, that’s really common when you’re young. You kind of think of it. The two things I see most is either a title. Or, you know, status, right? Title or status, or a certain amount of income. And what I love, [00:06:00] what you said, Matt was, you talked about financial independence because that’s kind of breaking free from money to an extent, but I’d say success goes even deeper than that.
Right? I think that, you know, us as human beings, we want freedom and it’s not just money. Right. We can have a lot of money, but not be free. Thinking about how many millionaires and billionaires Lee and I had a discussion a while back about the country club, because this is how I became so interested in success.
And he was describing a guy who got incredibly agitated because he wasn’t, you didn’t call him by a certain title when he came in there. So, you know, he’d probably had several millions of dollars and very stable , uh, and you know, financially, but is he. Probably not. And I think a lot of people who have a lot of wealth, they are free.
I mean, just because you have a lot of money, it doesn’t mean you’re not without worry. Because once you shift into having that type of income, all of a sudden you, now you’re worried about losing it, right. You’re worried about other people. Taking it away from you. You’re worried about competition. [00:07:00] So when I, when it comes to finance and several other topics, I like to talk about abundance and abundance to me is having more than you need.
And you can have a low net worth. You can have a high net worth and feel very abundant because abundance is a feeling. It’s freedom from worry, but you can also have a very high net worth worth, but living in complete scarcity mindset, you can live it. Yeah. A mindset of lack. But I think, you know, when we’re talking about freedom, the other things that, you know, I believe contribute to success as far as freedom, freedom from judgment, freedom from, you know, worries about.
You know, illness and I mean, there’s so many ways that you can look at it. You’ll pass finance, but I know you guys talk a lot about finance. So I think in a nutshell, when it comes to finance financial success, I think that having an abundance mindset is probably the Keystone for me is just to be, you know, to, to know that I’m an internal source of wealth and that I will always be able to, you know, it’s [00:08:00] basically an external reflection of what I have inside of me.
Right. Lee talked about how he defined success as contribution and helping others. So you are compensated when you do that. And when you can see yourself as basically a limitless. Abundant source of being able to help other people, you will be compensated. And right then, you know, like when you’re focused internally, the external will unfold.
Sergio Patterson: [00:08:26] Of that Simon, you say on your LinkedIn profile, it says you’re not a life coach. I like that. There’s too many life coaches out there. Um, you’re a bad-ass activation coach. Uh, talk to us about activation. , um, can you define that as well? Is it, does it go hand in hand with what you talked about with success or is this something
Simon Parsons: [00:08:42] something different?
Absolutely. I think there’s a badass. In all of us, but a lot of times we hide behind fears. A lot of the stuff I do that has to do with coaching has to do more with like getting rid of the stuff that’s holding us back instead of stepping on the gas. So when you can step on the gas, when you can use the tools.
Uh, [00:09:00] to succeed , uh, you know, the knowledge, the mentorship, the people around you. That’s great. But But you know, you’ve also got to let go of the stuff that’s holding you back, right? We all have limiting beliefs. Everybody has them. It doesn’t matter what level you’re on. Doesn’t matter how successful you are.
You always have stuff that’s holding you back. And I think being a bad-ass and activating bad-ass mode is, you know, about cutting free of the things that. Like tethering you down, right? The, the, the scarcity mindset, the limiting beliefs, the imposter syndrome, the negative self-talk right. How do you cut loose of that stuff and activate bad-ass mode?
I think I call it the trigger. One thing. I am proud of myself is that I take action like that. Like, I don’t overthink things. I just go for it because to me, I don’t fail. I either get my ass kicked and learn a lesson or I succeed. And just being able to develop that trigger inside of me to take action.
When I see opportunity, because I know I’m going to come out with either a lesson or come out with success. That is [00:10:00] something that. You have to cultivate, right? Because if not, life just gives you those bruises, it gives you those scars and there’s a part of your brain called the amygdala that is there to keep you safe.
And in prehistoric times, that was to keep you fed, to keep you warm, to keep you sheltered, to keep you in a tribe so that you didn’t get cast out now. Those elements are still with us in modern times. And people don’t really realize it, but they show up as limiting beliefs. They show up as fear and we, we start to be afraid to step into ourselves.
We’re afraid to speak our minds on social media. We’re afraid to be the core of ourselves? And that’s another thing too, to define success too. Are you living the life that you actually want or have you grown up living the life of based on someone else’s expectations?
Right. A lot of people deal with the expectations of their parents. Their parents told them to be a lawyer or a doctor to do this for that to go to school. And are we really [00:11:00] living a life that’s true to ourselves? That is the number one regret. Of people who are dying, people who get to the end of their lives is I wish I would have lived a life that was true to myself.
And that takes courage. So I think for me, I’m not, I don’t consider myself a life coach, but like, how do I activate the bad-ass that’s inside of all of us? How do I help people become more true to themselves to find that core person inside of them and to not let fear hold them back?
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:11:28] Simon. I know you talk with hundreds of people about, you know, progressing, achieving success, moving forward in your experience, what is the most common thing that you find with people that’s holding them back?
Simon Parsons: [00:11:42] That’s an awesome question. I mean, there’s two things that hold people back the most. It’s interesting because, you know, especially when we’re talking about success on the show and finance. I think the two things that people seek the most are more money. And Matt talked about, like, when you have more money, you have [00:12:00] more time.
Right? So people seek more money and more time yet those are the two things that people are, have the hardest time giving to get that. Right. There’s a quote that I love to talk about. It says, you know, if you want the fireplace to give you heat, you’ve got to put wood in there. Right? I think to me, I think the biggest thing that holds people back is the unwillingness to spend a little bit of money, whether that’s investing in themselves in their personal growth or in learning or in financial assets, right?
Like investing, paying themselves first people wait till the end of it. They get their pay and you guys know this right. People will pay everybody else before they pay them. Right. Like people get to the end of their check. There’s nothing left for them to invest in either their own personal development or financial assets.
Same with time. People are so busy that they [00:13:00] think, oh, I don’t have time to do it, to do any coaching or to join a mastermind group or to have a mentor because I’m just so busy. And maybe one day when I have a little bit more time, I can do that. Maybe if I have a little bit left over. At the end of my paycheck, then I can invest in it.
The tools are there and my friends like that, you can learn anything these days. There’s so much knowledge out there. We have so many tools, so much access, but we don’t take action on that again, going back to the action piece. And so to answer your question, I think the unwillingness to invest time and money in your future is probably what I would say holds people back the most.
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:13:37] That’s a great answer, dude. I love that.
Simon Parsons: [00:13:40] Yeah,
Sergio Patterson: [00:13:47] It really resonates with me cause it’s like , when, when I started thinking about, okay, my, how am I going to invest? Or am I going to spend the money on a coaching class? I’m always like hesitant, but then for other random things, I’m like, oh yeah, I’m just going to make it rain today.
I know, but it’s [00:14:00] why aren’t we. Why aren’t we like quicker to take action on improving ourselves. And I’ll, I’ll be the first to say
Simon Parsons: [00:14:07] I hesitate.
See, here’s the thing too though is, and this is why mindset is so important is because when you understand how the brain works and the things that talk you out, because those excuses that we have about time and money.
That’s just that part of our brain. That’s trying to keep us safe because it’s unfamiliar, you know, in prehistoric times there was different threats. Now it’s just simply things that are not familiar to us. So getting involved, you know, hiring a coach, spending some money on a coach or spending some time learning is a little bit uncomfortable, right?
You have to. You know, take your brain and, and try new things out. And it doesn’t feel good, especially when you’re getting your ass kicked , trying, trying something new. So what happens is your subconscious creates a doorway for you to get out of that. And that’s, I don’t have enough time or I don’t have enough money, two most common excuses, but the thing is, is how much time do we spend on social media?
Like scrolling? How often does [00:15:00] art thumb touch that screen? How many shows do we binge watch on Netflix? It is not a matter of not having enough time or money. You know, how much do we spend on Starbucks every day, right? It’s you guys know this because you hear the same stories when it comes to investing, right.
People are come up while I just don’t have enough money right now, when I get, you know, enough in my paycheck that I will do that. But I love that. And I love that you recognize that I do that. It’s funny because like, I can hear those, that voice coming up in my head. I’m not free of fear. I’m not free of excuses either, but I just can spot them.
And I can say, I hear you. I’m onto you. I can see what you’re saying. Lean into that. Love it. Yeah,
Matt McElroy: [00:15:44] that’s awesome. So Simon, tell us about a little bit about you. You offer a LinkedIn course. Can you tell us a little bit about what it is? Yeah. Yeah. I help
Simon Parsons: [00:15:51] people stand out on LinkedIn because LinkedIn has changed.
Most people think of LinkedIn as a job and career site. Right? It’s been that way [00:16:00] for so long. In fact, I had a dormant account just sitting there for 10 years. You know, it’s the place where you go look for a job. It’s a place for where you look for careers. Uh, LinkedIn noticed what Facebook had done.
Facebook has been working on this since 2009, right. They had built this wonderful platform and relied on people to provide the entertainment and the content. And then in 2016, Switched around and started charging people for exposure on that platform and made billions of dollars doing it. And I think the model of LinkedIn was to , uh, charge people to use the site so they can, you know, find jobs or maybe prospect if you’re in the B2B or a sales realm.
Um, there are some paid versions of LinkedIn that they were capitalizing on, but I think Microsoft owns LinkedIn. Realized how much potential there is in content creation and the ability to broke or advertising be able to broker attention. They started changing the format to be much more like a professional version of [00:17:00] Facebook.
And I think here’s where the opportunity lies and where people can really. Become a, an absolute expert in their niche to be an authority is as LinkedIn makes this transition, there are still so few people relatively speaking. I mean, there’s a lot of people on the platform, 700 million, 800 million, but very few of them are really understanding that this is, this platform is evolving, you know, from a Java career site to a, a content site.
And they need people like all four of us. To become experts in our niche and to have a voice and to be willing to put that out there. And you’ll be handsomely rewarded when you do that. So I think even people right now who are understanding what’s going on can really carve out a name for themselves.
And we’re talking about wealth and retirement , finance, finance here. There’s so much opportunity to be able to. Grab your , um, part of the market and direct people [00:18:00] to your podcast or to coaching or to online courses or to consultation. There’s so much out that won’t be around forever. So, um, I, I caught on to that, right.
I saw what they were doing in the B2B and sales realm, because that’s always been a, a Haven for LinkedIn, but then I started to realize there’s so many others. Avenues that can be taken with this and they want it. They need us to be able to provide it interesting content. So it’s very early on, but I guess the best way to like it.
And it was just the ultimate social platform for professionals. There’s so many ways you can deliver content. You can , um, do LinkedIn lives. You can have a group there. You can post , uh, tax content videos , um, sliders document. Uh, articles like blogs. There’s just so much that you can do with it. And to me, I feel like I kind of stumbled across this, just in my own development and in my own personal branding, but then I thought I can help other people with this.
And just like Lee said , it’s, it’s about serving other people. So I kind of went down this path that deviates from my mindset [00:19:00] coaching, because I believe I can help other people become thought leaders in their niche.
Yeah, I do an eight week bootcamp. Um, I’ve done two versions before and the next one I’m gonna add more stuff. , it’s, it’s basically a live bootcamp and we go into a lot of deep stuff. It’s not just how to use LinkedIn. In fact, I almost shouldn’t call it a LinkedIn course because I tell people if you can find it in the frequently asked questions of LinkedIn, then you know, that’s not going to be found in my course.
But what I do is I really go deep into personal branding, content creation, the psychology, and here’s another fun topic is just the psychology behind. Like how to get people, to read your posts, how to create interest, how to create a motion. And that goes back to mindset. There’s so much influence that you can have when it comes to mindset.
And that can be injected into your content, into your profile, into your about section. And I just think there’s such a deeper, a level that people aren’t aware [00:20:00] of. Yeah. It’s interesting. Leah
Sergio Patterson: [00:20:03] and I were talking about it a couple of days ago and your, your content speaks to this. Authentic and real, you are with your content and you’re actually showing people yourself.
And I think something with our show that we’re struggling with is like, how do we bring that out in some of our posts and content? So any thoughts there, like, cause that’s, that’s what we’ve been noticing on a platform is the influencers who are showing. Themselves on a personal level while they’re really the ones that are standing out and really ones that are connecting with their
Simon Parsons: [00:20:33] audiences.
Yeah. That’s such a great question. I think people really resonate with authenticity in sales. I can tell you this, the more really you will. The more you connect with people. And it’s just because there there’s this frequency that people can sense. Right. You see, I think on Instagram you have a lot of influencers that ran a Lambo or whatever, or rent space in front of a plane and talk about hate those people, but you can [00:21:00] sense it.
You know, they’re full of shit. Yeah. And I think that people can also sense authenticity. And it’s relatable too. So I’m in the mindset and personal development realm. And I have no problem finding clients that relate to me because like Tony Robbins, he’s the, the godfather of personal development, you know, he’s so big right now that it’s hard for him to be relatable to the masses.
Sure. His people that are relatable to him are. You know, CEO’s making a hundred million dollars a year . But for the average person, it just isn’t as relatable. But you, you, you know, you can build that know like, and trust factor by being authentic and by being real.
And one thing I love doing is, is telling about my failures. I think that resonates with people too. I think I get more traction. Discussing the times where I failed, which are many, and I’m an open book. Every time I do that, you know, there’s someone out there that like, I I’m so thankful you brought that up because I’ve had the same thing happen to me.
And it’s, , it builds those, those connections on such a [00:22:00] deeper level. I think I use social media in general and LinkedIn has become such a powerful way for people to step into their true selves. Like I am always focused on how do I get the most authentic version of me, the child version inside of me.
And when I do that, that really resonates with people. I, the funny thing you guys is, I used to be scared to post stuff on social media that had to do. Personal development because that amygdala part of my brain would give me this excuse that maybe there was some jock in high school would think I was, you know, idiot or whatever, or too soft.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Now it’s like, I’m so talking about freedom, I’m so free of worrying what people think. And my path to freedom is being offered. My path to getting there is by, you know, laying it all out there and letting people see the real me. And yeah, it can be uncomfortable, but you step in it and there’s so many more people that will support you.
I think LinkedIn is a great format for a platform for that too, because there’s a lot, there’s less [00:23:00] trolls there. There’s a lot of people that are, will resonate with your message rather than try to tear you down. Then at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if there are trolls. Most of those people are just trying, you know, they, they need to do that because they’re hurting.
Yeah. It’s harder to troll
Sergio Patterson: [00:23:13] on LinkedIn too. Cause , you know, your company’s there, right? It’s like, you’re, you’re trolling. You
Simon Parsons: [00:23:17] could get called out. Yeah. You can see, it will get banned. Especially during the political season last year, people would say some really horrible things and then boom, they’re gone.
They’re fired from their job, but that’s a great point. And back to that to professionalism. That’s why I love the platform as you do. They, they do a really good job with keeping it clean when it comes to politics or religion or, or touchy subjects. And I think that, you know, it’s harder for your, stuff’s not going to show in the feed when you, you know, if you’re lacing it with profanity or talking about really , um, sensitive topics , they, they want to keep it clean.
And so, yeah, that’s a great, great place to grow your voice authentically. There’s was a great question, Sergio.
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:23:56] I want to talk about the little bit more about this [00:24:00] authenticity, the idea of it. And one thing I haven’t really heard much people talk about is the correlation to people that are successful to them being authentic and transparent in how they communicate with people.
Have you seen a correlation in that the people that are open about their failures and people that are successful? In my own experience. And I’m just thinking about this since we’re talking about it right now, a lot of the very successful people that I know are very open about how they failed and the mistakes they’ve made.
And contrary to that, the people that aren’t so successful. I’m amazing. I don’t make mistakes, you know? Have you noticed anything
Simon Parsons: [00:24:45] like that? Absolutely. And I can tell you why. Okay. So if you are afraid, I mean, I think you can be successful, you know, without that I think it’s possible, but I think that it’s really, if you’re, if you’re [00:25:00] afraid to show people the real you and talk about your failures, get it.
Are you guys familiar with growth mindset? Have you heard of that term before? If, if not, and maybe your audience has heard crickets. Yeah. I’ve heard of it. I’m not, I’m not an expert. I’ve heard it.
Matt McElroy: [00:25:14] Yeah, I’ve heard it. I’ve just thought I don’t really know what
Simon Parsons: [00:25:16] it means. Growth mindset is. So there’s a , uh, psychologist from Stanford who wrote a book called mindset.
And in it, she talks about how people who are successful. They embrace a growth mindset and people who really stay stagnant or people who have a fixed mindset. So traits of a growth mindset is the willingness to fail. The willingness to accept feedback, right? And a fixed mindset is like a fixed mindset.
Things that you’re trying. And your talents are natural. Like they, they, they think that if you’re good at something, it’s, you know, the iceberg, right. The iceberg that shows the success, ice berg, that shows, all that was done under the surface of the water. So people have a fixed mindset, they just see the top part of that iceberg and they think, oh, that [00:26:00] person was just, you know, it’s easy that guy’s lucky he’s got successful because of that.
Right. Whereas growth mindset, you know, that there’s so much behind that, you know, that there’s no such thing as an overnight success, all that was built on years and years of perfection and talent and being willing to get your butt kicked. So that’s the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset and what you just said, Lee, about how there’s a correlation.
I think that it has to do with growth mindset, because if you’re trying to hide your failure, There’s ego getting in the way. It’s a big blind spot when it comes to growth mindset, because you’re afraid of what people think.
If you’re afraid of what people think, if you’re afraid of failure, then you’re not willing to be coached. You’re not willing to put it out there on the line. And when I was talking about how I have this trigger in me, that I just do stuff regardless. It’s not, I don’t have fear of failure, but I’m just willing to fail.
I think the more I lean into a growth mindset and that’s where the link is, is authenticity is you. If you’re willing to, certainly if you’re willing to talk [00:27:00] about your failures and embrace them, then you’re leaning into having a growth mindset. You’re willing to go get your butt kicked and you’re willing to learn from that.
And that’s what creates success. We go through life. Are we gonna turnaround when we fail? Well, we learned from it and get better. And you know, when you guys first started doing your podcast, I’m sure the very beginning, you didn’t have a lot of momentum, but you keep working on it.
Your voice got strong, you’d learn things. And that becomes because you’re willing to put it on the line. And I think that the correlation with authenticity and success is you’re less affected by your ego. We all have that in us, but it’s the more that you can be willing to fail. The more that you’re going to succeed.
Does that make sense? Yeah, definitely. Totally.
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:27:46] It’s just amazing. Like, you know, when I was younger, you’re taught, you never want to fail. You know, they give you an F you know, in school and you taught that is the ultimate thing, you know, that’s, that’s going to get you grounded.
You know, parents are going to beat you with a bamboo stick, you know, [00:28:00] some of us, but, you know, that’s, that’s the stuff that
Simon Parsons: [00:28:12] let’s
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:28:12] change the topic. Now, this is, these are all the things that, you know, get instilled in us and we’re taught, do whatever is humanly possible to avoid. Failure. And what’s amazing is for a lot of people that take it the right way. It is the path to success.
Simon Parsons: [00:28:31] Yeah. And you being in finance I’m I’m sure you’ve read rich dad, poor dad, Robert Kiyosaki.
He, and he talks a lot about that as being a major blind spot in education is that they teach you that it’s a bad thing to fail. I talked about scars that you get when you go through life. And I talked about a tribe, right? You. Your subconscious tribal mind doesn’t want to get NEF because you’re afraid someone’s going to banish you [00:29:00] from a tribe.
Whether that’s your parents or your peers, you’re going to look bad. I mean, that’s, that’s the whole core of that ego is we don’t realize it, but that monkey mind of ours is afraid to fail because we want to fit in. That’s why we also have a hard time trying to stand out is we want to fit in because. Again, back in prehistoric times, we did not want to get cast out of a tribe.
So the remanence of that brain still exists in us. And that’s directly correlated to the fear of failure, fear of getting an F the fear of not fitting in. And it’s so freeing when you can liberate yourself from that and just step in and be, you know, down with failure as a path to success. But I, I love what Robert Kiyosaki talks about in his content you know, that it’s about learning.
Having to get an a, but you know, if you get an F great, if you learn something from that and you start getting better and growth mindset is something we can all instill in our kids too, and give them a safe place to fail. That’s where the real power is, is our children is helping them, you know, [00:30:00] embrace failure and work ethic.
Right. Did you try hard? Did you give it everything that you got? Did you learn something from this experience? And so every night I’m asking my kid, what did you learn today? Not , did you win? Did you get an here? What did you learn today? What do you love about yourself? What are you grateful for?
Empowering questions that facilitate that growth mind.
Matt McElroy: [00:30:28] The way you’re saying right now totally reminds me of a story. I heard about like Kobe Bryant and you know, when, whenever he would have a loss or anything like that, or just a bad game in general, he would rewatch that tape so many times until he figured out what did I do?
You know, he treated it as a complete learning experience. Right? You know, we can do that too. It would just, cause we’re not athletes. We can go back and we can analyze our situation. We’ll watch our tape, whatever, and figure out, you know, what, what went wrong learn from it. Like, you know, cause I love what you’re saying that, you know, failure is just a lesson.
And so we have to figure out that lesson sometimes it’s not
Simon Parsons: [00:30:58] always, so.
[00:31:00] Lee Michael Murphy: [00:30:59] That’s a tough right? You want to like bury it. He don’t want, he don’t want to address
Matt McElroy: [00:31:03] it. Most, most people are scared of it. They want to run from it and never see it again. Yeah.
Simon Parsons: [00:31:07] Yeah. You guys are totally right. Isn’t it fascinating though, when I, what what’s so fun is helping people connect those dots.
Is, was that apparent to you guys, some of those connections with the prehistoric mind or is that kind of new stuff that it’s, to me when I can explain that to people it’s so liberating because you can say. Hey, it’s, there’s nothing wrong with you. This is just the way that there’s the remanence of your prehistoric mind that it’s just the wiring.
And so right there, you can give people a safe space to be like, okay, well, this is why I’m trying to talk myself out of doing something. This is why I’m giving excuses. This is why I’m afraid to fail. This is why I’m afraid to post something on social media, because I’m afraid someone’s going to judge me for it.
When you can explain that to people. It’s, to me, it’s really liberating and it’s something that I can lean into you, you know?
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:31:58] So when we started the [00:32:00] conversation, That we were talking to, there was two major things. As we all define success, there was the financial for some of us. And then there’s the personal, I want to start with the financial part, but just specifically think about finances since that’s a lot of what we talk about in your experience.
The people that you’ve worked with that have achieved, you know, wealth and money. Uh, what do you think that they have? What characteristics do you think that specifically, then we can, we’ll include like, you know, maybe the miserable rich people, but you know, they got something down, right. That they’re successful financially.
Simon Parsons: [00:32:35] Excellent question. And this kind of goes back to the country club, right? Lee and I both worked at a country club when we were younger. I might’ve been a little bit longer younger law, 4 0 8. Sure. Ultra wealthy. Here’s what I would say is, remember when I was talking about how. Success. A lot of times isn’t as much stepping on the gas.
I think that’s definitely a part of it, but it’s also like being [00:33:00] free from things that are holding you back. And I think a lot of wealthy people, they don’t have those limiting beliefs. 98% of the population has, and that’s developed it. You know, when you’re young, your mind is so malleable, right? And if you, if you grow up in a moderate income family or a low income family, or if you have financial stress, if you see your parents talking about money a certain way, if your parents are saying money, doesn’t grow on trees.
Money is the root of all evil. Those beliefs start to get embedded in you. Maybe you saw your dad lose his job. Maybe you saw some pain that came from it. Right? So I told you guys that we get these scars. And we try to cover them up through, through our life. We get these, these , um, things that damage us and our mind wants to keep us safe and keep us away from that.
So in a very basic level, when you’re hearing these stories about money, when you see people suffering pain from money, [00:34:00] What do you think your subconscious does it equates money to being a bad thing and in your conscious mind, doesn’t we all know that money can be a good thing. Most of us at least seek it out, but I think that a lot of people, they get those limiting beliefs by things that they hear.
I mean, just think about how kids are just so malleable. Your brain actually is on a different frequency than an adult. And it’s, it’s so suggestible zero to seven years old and even into your teenage years. And when you’re seeing the way that your parents live, this is why it’s so good to be around other people who are successful.
But a lot of people don’t even realize the damage that’s done to your subconscious. So whether you realize it or not, You fall into these patterns, patterns of how you’ve always lived. And even when you know that you shouldn’t equate money with time, you should be leveraging it. You should be building assets.
You should be finding streams of passionate , uh, passive income. A lot of times that’s [00:35:00] subconscious wiring that’s done early on, unless you do some work to really unwire that, or unless you start being around people who, where you see them succeed, you see them. So I’m always looking for people who are extremely high performance.
Here’s the funny thing is, is I spent a lot of time around very, very wealthy and successful people. Um, late teens and early twenties. And I could see this, I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I could see that there it’d be a very successful member of the country. Glubb and three of his, three of his kids became successful entrepreneurs.
The other one became a doctor, a lawyer. They were all very wealthy and it didn’t seem hard. Right. So I could, at that point is when I could say. That it was, you know, it was something that we all are having inside of us. It wasn’t just like born, you know, this, this thing that we were born with, it was something that, you know, parents were trickled down to their kids.
And so I that’s really essentially what got me into mindset, personal development, [00:36:00] because I realized. Know, I used to be very average. I thought I was going to have an average life. I thought I was going to grow up and have a blue collar job and, you know, very average income. But I saw these people succeeding and I saw their kids succeed.
So I knew it was something that was in all of us. But what I didn’t realize was that the wiring, that subconscious wiring that you get, when you just, you know, you hear things when these beliefs that you have that holds you back and whether or not you realize they’re there. There’s a a lot of, a a lot of times there’s programs running in the background that really can hold you back.
But what’s cool is when you do understand that you can do the work that you need to unwire, that you can find ways to create new beliefs and support that and build a narrative around that. And so while money, isn’t the end all be all for me. I look at it as like a partner.
I don’t put it on a pedestal. I don’t talk down to them to money. I look at it as like a business relationship and the best way I can create that a really strong network in my brain to love money is I can do a lot of [00:37:00] good with it. Like I can help people out. I can give money to people who need it more than I do.
And that is the best feeling in the world. And what it does is it creates this desire for me to, to, to want more. So I also feel like the universe trusts me with money and I’m a good steward. And, you know, the more responsibly I can act with it, the more I can help people, the more I can just let it flow through me.
The more that I’m going to be trusted with that. And that might sound a little woo. But to me, it’s a great story, a great story. You know, like I, it feels so good to help people with money. But, you know, I want to have money in myself. And I feel like when I do that, just that love that passion, that creativity, it unlocks that.
But from a neuroscience perspective, I’m attaching, you know, giving and that feeling with creating more. It’s a good thing. In my mind, Simon, something, you,
Sergio Patterson: [00:37:56] something that really stood out was the power as parents, the power [00:38:00] of our words to our kids as they grow up. Right. And some of the long long-term effects, right.
With our words , uh, before we kinda like get closer to wrapping up, I
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:38:08] mean,
Sergio Patterson: [00:38:09] You’re you have three kids you recently had a baby. Um, I think that whole story around like fighting, it looks like you like fought for one of your , you, you brought in and adopted a child as well. Would love just to like, hear more about that story, because I’m sure that kind of drives everything you do,
Simon Parsons: [00:38:23] right?
Yeah. That’s, that’s a great question. So, um, we came across, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to have kids and this was about 2000. Uh, 14, I had just, my, I crashed a business. I was in a very vulnerable state financially. So I had a business that went down. I started my sales role and I was, you know, just ramping up the commissions weren’t coming in yet.
And we heard about a kid that was, well, we didn’t hear about, we witnessed a kid who was being abused and neglected from his parents. It was someone that was close to my wife’s family and we had to step in on a moment’s notice. And with. One day. I wasn’t a dad. The [00:39:00] next day I was basically, my wife called me.
She said, we need to take him in. I said, let’s do it. And it was initially just to, so his parents could get cleaned, but once we saw the, you know, what was really going on, we knew there was no way that we were gonna let him go back and. At that point. We, you know, we got a little bit, since we voluntarily took him in and we couldn’t get any support from the state.
And like I said, I was recovering from a crash business and just barely starting a new role. So I had to really get creative with bringing income in so that we could fight not only take care of them, but we got into three lawsuits that lasted over five years. And you know, the financial toll of those lawsuits was close to six figures, you know, and coming into that, Matt McCarroll.
Yeah. And so no attorney’s fees are no joke.
Matt McElroy: [00:39:48] They
Simon Parsons: [00:39:48] can, they can go crazy. It was , um, everything came together the way that it needed. You really pushed me to succeed in business. We all, you know, we had people helping us out. [00:40:00] The money came together. Kind of shaped a lot of my beliefs around money too, is that, you know what, when you need the right tools, they will come in.
You know, if you’re, if you’re willing to accept them, but , uh, yeah, that was , uh, an amazing experience. And once he was stabilized and once the loss lawsuits died down, cause we had multiple things going on, I needed , uh, I felt such joy from helping. He kind of really taught me about helping others and how good that feels.
But , um, here’s another connection to success and finance is when you read a lot of books about , um, people who are highly successful in money is they give a lot. And I, one of my keys to success is to model what other people do. It was fascinating because I was reading so much, so many books on finance.
And you hear about guys like, like Warren Buffett, Ray Dalio, billionaires that are pledged to give 99% of their wealth away. And a lot of unwealthy people think [00:41:00] that billionaires are villainous and that you know, they’re so bad. I look at the other way. And I think part of it is what you see, but I see so many wealthy people who are willing to give, and I thought I would test that out.
And so once, once my boy was stabilized and I had money coming in. And I kept hearing that over and over from financially successful people is that part of being successful on a large scale is giving back. And, you know, I, I had always dabbled in that I’d I’d donate or give money here and there, but I was like, what if I started letting that fly a little bit more?
And I started to lean into that. Yeah. The craziest situations would unlock when I would do that. I think part of it is you’re not grit, you know, in the beginning we talked about abundance mindset, right? And you can be very wealthy and grip on your money so tight that you’re not really wealthy. You have a lot of money, but you’re not really wealthy, but when you start giving your, your hands are open.
Okay. And when they’re, when you’re gripping on your hands and close. So how do you receive more [00:42:00] when your hands are open? You have hands that can receive more. And I would encourage anybody who wants to be financial financially successful to start leaning into that, because I think on a, on a psychological level, when you have money to give other people, it means you’re trusting yourself to get more.
Well, I don’t think a lot of people realize that they think, well, I’ve only got so much. I mean, this goes for investing in yourself, but also to giving, giving to other people, the more you can invest in yourself, the more you can give to other people, the more you’re telling your subconscious that I have nothing to worry about.
That I’m an eternal source.
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:42:42] That’s an, that that mindset is fire right there. I mean, it’s so true. And it’s not just for the ultra rich. I know we were talking about billionaires and all that stuff, but you know, as you guys know, I’m really close to my mentor. He’s very successful, but not like a, like a multi-billionaire or anything like that.
But one thing I remember, like when I worked , uh, for the company I worked for for like [00:43:00] seven years, we always had people calling the office that were for nonprofits. Well, we’d like, we’d like to speak to your boss to get him to get some donations. And it was like nonstop and he was, and he was always willing to give money to a good cause.
And , uh, I know a lot of other people that have achieved high levels of success. They, they, they give it back. They pay it back and they know it’s for something that’s bigger than themselves. Uh, I want to end with one final question. Uh, we talked about, you know, how you become financially successful, but just on the personal side, like, you know, you know, maybe you don’t even work.
Maybe you’re just someone that, you know, wants to live a successful life. Uh, for you, just you and your family, that mindset, where does one acquire that for the people that are just taking care of their families , uh, not working, how do they achieve that level or that feeling of success?
Simon Parsons: [00:43:45] What you, what you, what you just said is so important is that we often quantify success with numbers. Success. Isn’t really quantifiable. It’s a feeling. Okay, so gratitude, happiness, [00:44:00] wealth. Those are feelings. They’re not numbers. And I would say this is available to anybody who wants it is to start tapping into be more present, be more grateful, start experiencing those feelings.
Now, people always talk, talk about gratitude is like I got something and now I’m grateful. Well, then those are for the people who even are grateful, but you don’t need something to be grateful for. You can live in a state of gratitude. You can be grateful for things that you don’t have. You can be grateful for things that you’re, you’re working towards, but gratitude on a neuroscientific level is just serotonin and dropping into your body.
They call it the here and now chem chemical. When you’re present, when you’re grateful, when you celebrate other people, when you give it. What that does is stimulate serotonin into your body. What we’re so used to dopamine, which is the , uh, reward seeking chemical, but the serotonin is the here and now drug.
I’m grateful for what is in front of me, whether or not I [00:45:00] have it. I’m grateful for just being alive every morning. I wake up, I’m grateful for the air in my lungs and the opportunity to go do something great. So if you asked me what anybody can tap into more, I would say gratitude and service. You can also add , um, uh, community to that and connection, right?
Probably the wealthiest people that I know, the happiest, most abundant people were , this, this Indian tribe that I visited down in the Amazon, where we have so much money up here and so much opportunity, but the people that were just, they were just happy for their next meal. And , they were disconnected from the internet.
They were so incredibly fulfilled and happy. And to me that is success. Now. I love having money. I love having things, but I’m not attached to them. True success to me is the things that you can’t really quantify. And that’s giving love abundance, solid [00:46:00] relationships, health contribution. I would think you guys would agree.
Most of us can tap into at least several of those items. A hundred percent
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:46:10] listeners that last two minutes, play that over and over again every single day. And you’re going to be all right, Simon. Thank you so much for joining us today, man. Uh, you’ve been amazing. Where can people find out more about what you’re doing and , uh, tap into that wisdom.
Simon Parsons: [00:46:27] Yeah, I would love for you to connect with me on LinkedIn, Simon w Parsons one on LinkedIn. You probably find me through Lee’s profile. Um, and I should be showed up well in the searches, but I also just kicked off a YouTube channel. And , um, this is not about me , um, trying to charge people. This is about me.
Teaching people, mindset, tools, tech tips, and tricks, very condensed tricks. So, the new channel is called mindset hackers. And the intent behind that is to
serve people in the highest level and teach them some of the tools, [00:47:00] tricks, and tips that I use to level. Both personally and professionally,
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:47:05] are you using
Simon Parsons: [00:47:05] some meditation too, right?
Absolutely. That’s the not so secret sauce, but I’ll teach about meditation, visualization , um, productivity, well, abundance. Um, so many topics, relationships, sales influence. Emotions, chemical states, neuroscience, all this stuff is, you know, everything I teach is backed by science and it’s relatable to success both personally and professionally.
Lee Michael Murphy: [00:47:31] Well, Simon, it’s been an honor to have you on, you’ve been listening to the fruit siree show so long for now.